


Thought You Could Use a Laugh

by wickedorin



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-20
Updated: 2011-06-20
Packaged: 2017-10-28 14:38:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedorin/pseuds/wickedorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kotetsu calls Barnaby from a changing room.  Strictly crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thought You Could Use a Laugh

It was the nervous laughter that assured him he shouldn't have responded to his partner's "emergency" call. As if Barnaby needed proof of that, the laughter was then followed by an image. Of Kotetsu. Wearing only his hat, bracelets, and a pair of briefs. Tiger-striped, he noted with a little mental groan. Belatedly, he realized that the man must be in some kind of changing room with that mirror behind him.

"Hey, Bunny." Kotetsu grinned, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away from the screen. "I, uh... just thought you could use a laugh."

Barnaby didn't think his gaze could get any more murderous than he was _certain_ it was right then. His voice was perfectly flat. "Thank you. But no."

"Hey hey, not so fast!" He saw the blond reaching to disconnect. "Come on, give me a chance! I bet you'll think it's funny."

"Do you have anything to wager that on, old man?" He asked outright--sighing at the older man's confused expression. He gestured with his hand to continue.

Kotetsu brightened again, the smile still looking just a little nervous. "Ah, so I was in here changing." He turned to retrieve the white undershirt he'd been changing into. "I hadn't really expected the shirt to be so tight, so while I was trying to get it over my head I pulled something in my arm!"

Barnaby stared in silence, waiting for the punchline. He had a feeling he was experiencing one.

"I mean," Kotetsu continued, undaunted, "I can crash through walls, throw cars, leap over buildings--but one little shirt finally injured me!"

The blond wondered to himself if the old man had survived a head injury. He came to the conclusion that it must have been several.

"You're not laughing." The older hero's face fell.

"It's not funny." Barnaby told him outright. "Why would you even try on a shirt that tight in the first place?"

Frowning, Kotetsu looked at the shirt. "Well, they're _supposed_ to be tight. That's the point."

Something... was making even less sense than usual. Right up until the blond _looked_ at that shirt, seeing reinforced ridges in the material. "I know you get yourself hurt rather _often_ ," he didn't even bother to be polite about the matter, "But why would you want a compression shirt?"

" _Why_?" Kotetsu flailed slightly, as though the answer should be obvious to anyone beyond him. "Because I keep getting told to be seen out in public with _you_!"

Barnaby thought for a moment. Then a moment more. No, that made no sense. "Have you finally lost it, old man?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're always pointing it out, you know. You're the 'young one' and the 'handsome one' and I'm just... _there_. So I thought I should find something to make me look better next to you!"

What he felt might almost have been sympathy if the man weren't so stupid. Didn't he see that he didn't _need_ more muscle definition? "How about a better wardrobe?"

"Would you help me pick one out?" Kotetsu asked immediately.

Yes. In hindsight, he should have seen that coming. He was _not_ going _shopping_ with his partner. Ever. "Don't you have a _daughter_ to call for this sort of arbitrary conversation?"

"Well, she wouldn't care."

Barnaby could not stop himself from that facepalm. Unfortunately, it distracted him from seeing that Kotetsu was making it a conference call. "What are you--"

"Hello, darling." Nathan greeted, in the middle of a spa treatment if the green paste on his face and the need to remove cucumber slices was any indication. "Oohhh, _darlings_. How nice of you to call."

"Hold on." Kotetsu was busy inviting yet another party into the call.

Antonio's greeting was a quiet grunt, wandering down the aisle of a grocery store and pushing a cart along--then he did a double-take at the full conference on screen. "Um."

"Hello, Antonio." Nathan waved flirtatiously. "Oh, I am just _blessed_ today."

Kotetsu attempted to ignore the comment, and his friend's bright blush. "Alright, Bunny was no help, so I need an opinion." He held up the shirt as best as he could with only one hand free. "Will I look better with this on?"

"Oh not this again." Antonio mumbled, turning into an abandoned aisle.

"You look better _without_ a shirt on." Nathan assured him. "Come to think of it, all of you would."

Antonio began massaging near the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "Are you really considering that again?" He asked his friend directly.

"Well, it's _important_." Kotetsu defended.

"It also wound up injuring you." Barnaby pointed out, still not sure if he wanted to be part of that conversation.

His partner's expression turned sheepish awfully quickly. "Well, that's why I called Bunny... I thought it was funny that I pulled a muscle trying to get this shirt on, and..." Alright, so, no one else was laughing.

Nathan gave a good-natured roll of his eyes. "You should come over here and get that massaged out. And if you won't, then maybe Handsome over there would care to join me? I'm sure you could use a little TLC. You're looking pale."

Barnaby was very sure that was true. Especially right then.

Kotetsu unknowingly saved him by calling up someone else. "I know who can settle this."

"Greetings!" Of course, there was only one person who would answer a call like that. Keith's face appeared a moment later, smiling brightly as he appeared to be jogging with his dog. "I seem to have been invited into a lively conversation."

Nathan gave a low, appreciative chuckle. "I was just inviting everyone over to the spa for some massages and some soaking in a hot tub."

"That sounds delightful!" Keith assured. "But I'm afraid it will have to wait. Mr. Squiggles needs his runsies."

Kotetsu's laugh was uncomfortable, to put matters lightly. "Hey, I just wanted your opinion on something--"

"Of course! Anything I can do for you!"

"Riiight. Um, this." Kotetsu held up the shirt again. "Do you think I need it?"

"Of course not." Keith answered, slowing to a stop as the dog obviously had "business" to attend to. He chivalrously turned away. "You have a very stylish way of dressing that is certainly appreciated by everyone. It makes you recognizable as who you are. There's no need to change yourself!"

The older hero blinked, trying to make sense of the answer. Not to mention the fact that he was trying to figure out whether or not the "King of Heroes" had even understood what he was being asked about...

"Aw, isn't that cute?" Keith grinned, looking away from the screen. "Mr. Squiggles wants to play leap frog with another puppy!"

There was a long pause. From everyone. Kotetsu managed to be the first to speak. "Ah, well... I'll just let you get back to that, Keith. Thanks." He really couldn't disconnect fast enough.

"That boy." Nathan commented with a light flick of his wrist. "The brains he traded for that body were worth it, though. But no one's got your ass, Antonio."

The poor man was as red as the tomatoes in his cart. "Look, if that's all you have to ask us about..."

"Yeah, yeah." Kotetsu sighed. "Thanks."

As Antonio disconnected, Nathan decided to give some more serious advice. "You have absolutely no reason to be so self-conscious. You just go and put that shirt back and go home. Unless you want to come over and entertain me? You're still invited too, Handsome."

The terrified look on Barnaby's face didn't even register. Kotetsu just grinned. "Thanks, Nathan."

Another disconnection later, it was just the two of them again. And a moment of silence. "Hey, Bunny, sorry to have bothered you."

"It's..." _Annoying. Stupid. Ridiculous, just like you._ So many things flashed through his mind. He sighed, instead. "It's fine. They're right, though. You don't need the shirt."

Kotetsu looked surprised. "Really?"

Barnaby looked away slightly, just enough for the glare on his glasses to hide his eyes. "How badly did you hurt yourself, old man?"

Frowning again, sure he was being made fun of, he swung his arm back and forth without incident. When he went to _raise_ it, however, he winced hard with a hiss. "Ah, well..."

Another sigh. The blond held his tone in check carefully, making sure it sounded bored and annoyed. "You may as well come over. I can take care of _that_ for you, too." He just managed to catch the brilliant smile making its way across Kotetsu's face before he ended the call. Sitting back in his chair, he rubbed at his own face with both hands. Damn sexy old man.

**Author's Note:**

> I fully blame Schala-Kitty for dropping this idea right in front of me and walking away. Clearly it was also before John's name was known.


End file.
